i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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