bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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