im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
