It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
