OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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