Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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