My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
