im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
