i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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