dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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