Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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