she was so not down for the gang bang
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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