I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
