Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize