Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Still dying that you shit outside
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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