Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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