my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wish there were birth control emojis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
