i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Come on in and take your pants off
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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