I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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