so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
