just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
