is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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