So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
