I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
