He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize