the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to have your abortion
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
