He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
