Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
