For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
