Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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