weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
