who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
