Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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