I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
