that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
