i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
