Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
