so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize