Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
