IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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