I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
