ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
