He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Green mimosas i think yes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize