I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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