They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
