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Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
