i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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