Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
