Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
