nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize