chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
