my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
