what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And the cops told us we were all naked.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
