Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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