Quick, to the slutcave!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
