We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
