I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
