my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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