I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
